Four Ways to Find Meaning in Life

For a long time, I thought meaning was something I was supposed to discover.

I was raised inside a religion that taught me two things at the same time: that life had meaning, and that I had a specific purpose I was meant to fulfill. That purpose, however, was never clearly defined. (It was broadly described, but not individually defined) It was something I was expected to uncover through obedience, effort, and faith.

Even then, something about it felt small.

Not small in importance — small in agency. As if my role was to fit neatly into an already-designed system. To be useful, but not necessarily impactful. To be part of the machine, not someone who meaningfully altered its direction.

That understanding of meaning stayed mostly intact until I became a dad.

Raising kids has a way of dismantling tidy theories. It forces you to confront responsibility, presence, and influence in very real ways. Suddenly, meaning isn’t abstract. It’s relational. It’s lived. It’s tested daily.

I don’t think I’ve fully “figured out” my purpose — and I’m increasingly convinced that might not be the point.

These days, meaning feels less like a destination and more like a process. An evolutionary cycle of improvement. Becoming a little more capable, a little more aware, a little more aligned than previous versions of yourself.

Not all at once. Iteratively.

Reinvention, it turns out, isn’t a failure of identity. It’s often evidence of growth.

Over time, I’ve noticed that meaning tends to show up in the same places — quietly, consistently, and without ceremony.

Here are four ways I’ve come to understand it.

1. Meaning is found in growth

Whenever I see growth — in myself, in my kids, in friends or family — something clicks.

Progress doesn’t have to be dramatic. Sometimes it’s learning a new skill. Sometimes it’s navigating something hard with a little more grace than before. Sometimes it’s simply staying engaged when it would be easier to withdraw.

Growth signals movement. And movement gives life direction.

2. Meaning is created through effort, not ease

Meaning often shows up alongside effort — even when happiness doesn’t.

Accomplishment and growth can feel like a grind. They’re not always joyful in the moment. But when you look back, they carry weight. They give texture to your life. They make the struggle feel worth something.

Happiness is fleeting. Meaning accumulates.

3. Meaning deepens when you matter to others

One of the most surprising things I’ve learned is how often meaning is discovered indirectly.

You don’t always feel meaningful because of what you achieve. Sometimes you feel meaningful because you show up — consistently, quietly — for other people. When your presence matters. When your effort helps someone else grow, cope, or feel less alone.

When you matter to others, your own life gains depth.

4. Meaning is something you build over time

This might be the most important shift of all.

Meaning isn’t something you uncover in a single moment of clarity. It’s not a lightning strike or a perfectly worded mission statement. It’s something you create over a lifetime through attention, intention, and repetition.

You don’t find meaning once. You keep making it.

I think a lot of people are frustrated because they’re searching for meaning as if it’s hidden somewhere — waiting to be revealed.

But meaning isn’t hidden. It’s cumulative.

It’s built through growth. Through effort. Through showing up for people. Through becoming someone you respect a little more than you used to be.

And maybe that’s enough.